Seasonal Transitions

Summer is quickly coming to a close, causing me to reflect and reminisce on the past few months and to contemplate the near future.

The summer, honestly, started out slow for me. I needed some time to recuperate from the crazy experiences of the previous six months: a divorce, attending school full-time, working six days a week for a total of about 48 hours a week, experiencing health problems, being laid off from one of my jobs, and having to cancel a much-anticipated and much-needed vacation to Hawaii. Not only did I need to recuperate, but I also really didn’t have much of anyone to hang out with being that my few friends and co-workers have busy lives of their own (they all have families and/or are married/have significant others) and my best friend, Rachel, was still in Indiana. But things gradually improved having reveled in some slow, quiet days…and then Rachel arrived!

Rachel arrived right around my birthday in June, so we decided to celebrate my birthday with a weekend backpacking trip in the Gorge. In the beginning of August Rachel, some friends, her mom, and I went on a weekend trip to Waldport, Oregon to celebrate Rachel’s 30th birthday at the beach. That was one of the best trips I’ve ever been on, and it was the first time I ever did anything with a large group of girls like that. Shortly after that Rachel and I went back to the Gorge for another camping trip where we were hoping to see the Perseids but were instead pleasantly surprised by a brilliant thunder and lightning storm. It was absolutely breathtaking, so much so that I cried. In mid-August I invited Rachel to Mogfest, a trip I’ve been taking annually since 2009, and we met some wonderful new friends, who will hopefully be life-long friends, and had some amazing experiences! I think I have made Rachel into a Mogfest fan and I hope it is something we will continue to do every year for as long as possible.

Anyway, I know that I am not going into much detail, but I assume since you are reading this blog, you are a friend of mine on Facebook and have followed my adventures at least a little bit, there. The photos that I have posted there pretty much speak for themselves. I hope you’ve had an opportunity to enjoy them!

Now that summer is winding down, Rachel is leaving us once again to return to Indiana. We will have one more brouhaha tomorrow night before she leaves. And then it will be much quieter and lonelier around here without her.

As always, I do not know entirely what my future holds. I know what I want, at least I know that. That’s a start, right? And I continue to take steps to ensure those wants become reality. For one, I want a full-time librarian position. I will have my Master’s In Library and Information Science completed in December, and I’ve already applied to four positions I found in the Vancouver/Portland area. Three of those positions are with my current employer, so I feel most hopeful for those positions. The other position is for a Metadata Librarian with Multnomah County Libraries. So, we will see. Once I get full-time work, I will be able to realize my other want: my own place. I am such an independent person and I don’t want to have to answer to anyone, unless I want to. And that would be with a significant other, not a parent. Do you hear me? I lived on my own more or less since the age of 18 until just four years ago. It is not an exaggeration when I say that my soul has been dying living here. It really crushes me. My essence is slowly being leached from me. And so that’s what’s been so wonderful about this summer—I’ve been so busy between my various trips and house-sitting for my friend, that I haven’t been in my parents’ house much. Rachel and other people, who know me well, can see the difference. I am a completely different, happier, freer person when I don’t have to be around my parents. Now, don’t get me wrong. I am grateful for all of their support and help, but I can’t live with them. We’re just too different. Our priorities are vastly different. Our social and political views are vastly different. Our lifestyles are completely different. Our personalities are vastly different. We are oil and water and do not mix and never will. My other wants revolve around being more active. With full-time work I’ll actually have more time (if you can believe that) to do what I want. I won’t be going to school and I won’t be working multiple part-time jobs, which actually takes more time and effort than one full-time job. And I’ll also have more financial freedom to do things I’ve always wanted to. These include but are not limited to, traveling (Europe, Asia, South America, the Ice Hotel, etc.), skydiving, horseback riding, getting a couple of tattoos and other self-improvements, updating my outdated wardrobe, taking cooking classes, more hiking and camping, mountaineering, off-roading (perchance I could get my own rig!?), hang-gliding, etcetera.

So, what it all boils down to is landing full-time work. All the rest of the pieces of the puzzle will come together. I have a lot to look forward to. The future is bright, and so I will walk confidently towards the light at the end of the tunnel with my head held high.